Yukino Reacts
by yuuka-miya
Summary: Hachiman is pretty surprised to find out that Yukino's started following a light novel. Very soft Hachiyuki, so stay away if shipping's your thing.
1. Chapter 1

"I didn't know you were into light novels, Yukinoshita."

The usual cat-print book wrap that Yukinoshita Yukino used to protect her books had dropped, revealing the title behind, "My Teenage Romantic Comedy SNAFU", it screamed, in bright pink-and-blue characters. Such "trashy light novels" were very much unlike the reserved and cultured Yukinoshita, thought Hikigaya Hachiman to himself. He had expected her to read Tolstoy's War and Peace, in the original Russian, for recreation.

It was a very quiet day at the Service Club. Not even Yuigahama had come to bother them. As such, a rather satisfied Yukinoshita had made herself a cup of Earl Grey tea and sat down in her usual chair, reading. Not unlike a house cat, really. Maybe she would be at home in Kamakura's basket, he thought?

As Hachiman attempted to dispel that thought from his mind, a frown appeared on Yukino's face. "Yes," she said, in an oddly long drawl, "I know what you're thinking, I don't exactly read Tolstoy's War and Peace in its original Russian for recreation. I must admit, I have Zaimokuza-kun to thank for getting me into the light novel genre. It's become a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. After all, I am a normal girl." Her voice became a lot more cold and steely after this point, which Hachiman had nicknamed her "I'll-freeze-you-to-death" mode.

"Now, if only that Wataru Watari would release volume 13 already. I'm eager to find out if Mikitani-kun and Kotsuka-kun end up together, and what of the girls Yurihama and Yukikawa who fell for him. Of course, the last volume has to end of a cliffhanger, and then things get delayed, and delayed, and delayed..." she muttered in that cold voice. On instinct, Hachiman felt a bit scared. He hadn't felt this way for a while, probably since they first met. "Shogakukan's website did mention it was going to be released last month, but then they took it down again. And today, according to internet forums, the listing was put back up. No pre orders allowed, surprisingly." she continued, anger now turned to exasperation as she sighed and put down the book.

She looked at her cup and noticed it was empty. Reading and drinking with the mind in autopilot could do that to someone. "Want a refill, Hikigaya-kun?" she offered, getting up and walking towards the thermos placed by the windowside. By the looks of it, she wasn't done ranting. "Can't remain positive about things like that. The author sounds like a piece of work, he keeps insisting on his twitter that he's writing TeeCom but at the same time he retweets things like Gi(a)rlish Number and Qualidea Code. No, his fanbase aren't interested in that. I'm even surprised I myself am still following this contemptible nonsense." she said, as she replaced the teabag and poured some more hot water into the cup.

Just as Hachiman was about to return to his math homework, he heard a yelp and a cry of "Ouch!". Getting up, he saw that Yukino had scalded herself with the hot water. "Are you okay, Yukinoshita?" he asked. "Go to the bathroom and run it under some cool water for a while."

"That's a good idea, for once, Hikigaya-kun." Taking his suggestion, Yukino wrapped her hand in a paper towel, and hastily strode out of the room.

* * *

Unfortunately, I kind of missed the boat for Yukino to react to volume 12, so this will have to do.

And yes, names are changed in the variant of Oregairu that Yukino's reading, since wouldn't it be weird to read a book about yourself? And of course, there's really no other choice but Totsuka for 8man (in this case, Kotsuka).


	2. Chapter 2

What I was reading was so pathetic that I actually laughed to myself. Just on the series index page alone, I had come across four of the same kind of fan fiction already, and my hand had somehow stopped before I tapped on the fifth.

The sound that came out of my throat was a loud, haughty laugh very reminscent of my sister, and perhaps my mother as well, if the old hag ever laughed. It was bone chilling to the very core, like the elder Yukinoshitas. "Look at what some of these people write." I said, regaining my composure. "It's almost like as if they'll get shot in the camps if they don't write Mikitani/Yukikawa shipping stories, that end in those two getting married and living happily ever after with a son and a daughter.."

"It's probably not that intense, Yukinoshita." replied Hikigaya-kun, looking up from his own book - a light novel about a certain adventurer in a certain virtual world, written by a certain chuuni. "Maybe it's just childish wish fulfillment, like Zaimokuza's trashy novels. I'm still amazed someone was willing to publish them." I thought for a while. That did make sense. After all, fanfiction was a form of escape from reality, for closeted, antisocial otaku to pretend that the rich, beautiful, popular school idol would fall head over heels with them. Somehow.

Or maybe they end up in a fantasy world where the princess, sorceress, and three or so village girls fall victim to their charms. These trashy light novel plots were highly cliched, but it is, after all, entertainment. "Fair." I said, in reply to Hikigaya-kun. "Maybe you and I are just too difficult to be able to believe such simpletons exist." "Or so we do." agreed Hikigaya dryly, returning to his book.

How did I end up reading these? A dearth of content for a light novel I was following had somehow taken me to fanfiction archives in the depths of the Internet. Most of them were in English; it was clear that My Teenage Romantic SNAFU had quite a big overseas fan base. While there were plenty of Japanese fans, they mostly lurked on Pixiv and drew art, which I hadn't seen much of as of now. I will admit, I did casually browse Pixiv for a while, but that was because I was looking for Pan-san - ahem.

For what it was worth, at least I got to put my new tablet to good use, and I had an opportunity to try practicing my English. The standard of English in Japan was quite bad, with the exception of the Westerner diaspora, which for obvious reasons were not found in Chiba. While I had asked, my parents had refused to send me to an English language school in Tokyo. It had thus become necessary to self-study if I really wanted any hope of getting into a Western university on a scholarship.

And speaking of my parents, as far as they were concerned, Yukinoshita Yukino was just a girl they thought they could just marry off to some rich man's son. Well, I'm determined to be my own woman, and the furthest thing from Yukikawa Yuki in those silly fanfics, reduced to a simpering mess around her Mikitani Mikio.

"What, Yukinoshita?" asked Hikigaya-kun all of a sudden. "You're giving me a weird stare." I was? "You must be imagining things." I retorted, before I realized just what my facial muscles had been doing. Oops.

* * *

I think I still have some work to do to capture the Yukinoshita internal monologue.


	3. Chapter 3

Yukino had been waiting outside the club room, arms crossed and tapping a foot impatiently.

Yuigahama Yui walked up to her. "Yukinon, why not go in?" asked Yuigahama. In response, Yukino tilted her head in the direction of the service club room door. "See for yourself." she said. Like a dog waiting for its master, Yui walked to the door, and the change in facial expression was very visible as she slowly slinkered back. "What's Yumiko doing with Hikki?' asked Yui, visibly trembling.

"I don't know. In Miura-san's own words, 'I'd like Jadis the White Witch to stay out of this', she had said, glaring at me. So I left the room." replied Yukino nonchalantly. She had made Miura Yumiko and Hikigaya Hachiman a cup of tea each before leaving the room, forgetting her book in her haste. What had struck her, though, standing outside with nothing to do for the past half an hour, was that she was actually bored.

As much as she was loathe to admit it, the service club and banter with Hikigaya had helped her kill time - time which she otherwise had no idea how to fill. While it was third year and she really should be studying for university entrance exams, Sobu High had instituted a policy of "20% time" during the spring term - allocated for students to pursue club activities. Academic pursuits were strictly discouraged during this period, which Yukino usually spent in the service club room reading - a room unavailable to her at this point in time.

Oh right, she still had her phone. She took it out of her skirt pocket and unlocked it, finding that it had been left open to, of all things, the My Teenage Romantic Comedy SNAFU section of the fanfiction publishing site she used, which she had been reading this morning on the Keiyo Line. Well, that was something to do, thought Yukino as she pressed the refresh button to check if there was anything new. A few new stories loaded. While having spent enough time on the site to understand the kind of crack pairings that fanfiction writers loved to do, Yukino had to admit she was surprised at how much a particular pairing had taken off recently.

Quickly looking up to make sure Yui wasn't around (the pink haired girl had run off to the sports club to bother Tobe), Yukino tapped on the first one, which promised an after story full of Hikitani Hikio and Mifura Miyuko. "It began, one day, in a classroom after school, at the beginning of their third year. Yukikawa-san had transferred away and the student assistance club was about to shut down - if not for the club membership request form that Hikitani had been handed after school by the teacher."

As she read on, Yukino bit back a laugh at the mental image of Hikitani and Mifura sitting alone in an empty classroom after school, the rays of the setting sun leaving some corners in darkness. Wait, wasn't that precisely what was going on beyond the wall she was leaning on, with Hikigaya and that Miura discussing some rather "delicate" matter? Taking a deep breath, Yukino read on. There was just something tantalizing about such forbidden relationships.

She reached the end of the first chapter. It was definitely well done, being able to explain the beginnings of what seemed to be an unlikely couple - from the day they met all the way until he had proposed to her. Well, she had a clubroom to get back into anyway, so she put off the second chapter for later. Yukino walked over to the door and peered through the window - it seemed like Miura had been lecturing Hikigaya. He looked to be in a pretty sorry state.

What, did they break up? asked a mischievous voice inside Yukino's head. After all, that exact scene, which turned out to be a relationship argument, had happened in the fanfic Yukino had just read, so the parallels were considerably amusing. She knocked on the door. "Come in." said Hikigaya, and Yukino slid open the door, and walked to her seat. "Thank you for your patronage, Miura-san. Are our services to your satisfaction?" asked Yukino. Miura nodded as she walked towards the door. "Yes, thank you very much for giving us the time, Yukinoshita-san. I have secured Hikigaya's assistance in that delicate matter. Good day." And Miura closed the door behind her as she left the room.

Yukino now sat down in her usual seat. "So, what did she ask for? To be your girlfriend?" she asked Hikigaya, with a rather dark grin. "I mean, what else happens when you leave a boy and a girl alone, in an empty classroom, after school?" she said, putting her book back in her bag. "I kind of object to being referred to as a service provider, if that's what you're getting at, Yukinoshita. I was just asked to help keep Isshiki under control."

While that was a fair request, Yukino thought she might as well have some fun while she was here. "But you'd like to be a kept man, don't you? I'm fairly sure Miura-san would be a decent choice besides me. There's just something romantic about two people being so different, yet so suited for each other, isn't there? Something so tantalizing of a forbidden relationships between two at the opposite ends of the social spectrum?" she asked, as she zipped her book bag.

"Very funny, Yukinoshita." "But aren't you always so quick to come to the aid of their gang?" Hikigaya sputtered. "I... erm... It's not what you think it is, Yukinoshita! Our bet's still on, remember?" Yukino smiled darkly, as she got up to leave. "There's that, and there's the red string of love overcoming the obstacles of fate, to fulfill the eventual destiny of the lovebirds..." she said, laughing to herself. "It's not like that! Really! It's only because I know Isshiki that Miura-san came to me for help." protested Hikigaya.

"Whatever you say then. Lock up before you leave." said Yukino, taking out the room keys from her skirt pocket and placing it down on the table. She really had to excuse herself before she started laughing madly like her sister.

* * *

This is a bit long, but I try. OOC Yukino alert, since I'm still trying to refine my character interpretation of a post-series Yukino. Maybe she learns to lighten up?


End file.
